Nuances
by ashhead
Summary: Tony takes a moment to reflect upon his life (Post day 2). Just a short piece of happy fluff.


_This was written a while ago, and some of you might have seen it. Joe's Girl complained that all my stuff was miserable, thats because all my happy stuff is on the Tony/Michelle fanfic site (if anyone wants the address just e-mail me). If I put any of the miserable stuff there I might get shot, so it goes here instead. But I thought I'd post this, just to show that I can be happy._

She shifted slightly, not stirring. She drew a quick breath, holding it as fear played out across her beautiful face. I found myself wondering, not for the first time, what it was that she saw when she closed her eyes that scared her so much. There was plenty to choose from, and that was just the stuff I knew about.

Instinctively, my fingers went to brush back the curls that had splayed across her face. Tracing her skin slightly, my fingers dawdled across her face, soaking in the warmth of the soft skin underneath them as a stray curl idly wrapped itself about my thumb.

It was moments like this that scared me. My usual lie that this was just a fling, something that I could pull myself out of easily, no longer fitted. I know that there's no way that I'm going to be able to let her go, I can barely take my eyes off her. And as much as I try to convince myself that all I feel for her is a hefty mix of lust and attraction, both of which are present in large quantities, looking at her now, I know what a lie that is.

She settles beneath my fingers, she always does, a soft smile appearing on her face. My whispered reassurances muttered into the gentle light of the morning are unintelligible, made so by the rush of words that want to spill from me. Nevertheless the quiet echo of her now regular breathing warmed me. It sounds stupid, but somehow knowing that the reassurance I feel when my eyes meet hers as I cross the still blood-stained CTU is reciprocated makes me smile.

Trailing my fingers across her back, I wonder whether this is a good idea. It's the same thing that I've been wondering since the moment I met her, dark eyes entrancing me as a cautious smile flickered across her face when I offered her the job. And even now, lying with her caught up in my arms, I find that my answer is the same, I don't care.

I know I should be telling her to run. She's sleeping with her boss. The comparisons are too obvious not to be drawn, and I've seen the pain in her eyes that she tries so hard and fails so miserably in hiding from me. They've already noticed, we're too obvious for them not to. I just thank God that Jack Bauer had his office sound proofed; that little detail that used to drive me mad when he'd call Nina up to his office now providing the only relief I get in a job that I hate.

It's strange really, when I first started working at CTU, the director's job was what I wanted more than anything. I wondered when my ambition had died. Probably at the same time as it killed a woman. That's an action that I have never quite gotten over. I know full well why I started sleeping with Nina, a bizarre mixture of jealousy, lust and ambition. As much as I wanted her, I also wanted to get back at Jack. And the ambitious part of myself, as much as I hated it, saw this as a good opportunity.

And because of that, Jack's wife is dead. I allowed Nina to gain a hold on me, and I became blind to the things that she was doing, and because of that, a woman died.

And yet here I am, doing the same thing all over again. But once again, I can't seem to care. Nina built up a web of lies that concealed every truth about her, Michelle can't lie to save her life. And she trusts me, that spills from her eyes every time I look at her, and is more captivating than anything I've ever seen.

And somehow, in a way that I don't quite understand, I trust her, more than anything. The ambition she has is poorly concealed, it's the same as I used to have, and yet I know that this isn't about that. If anything, she's putting herself further away from the future she wants by getting involved with me, and she's still here.

I opened my eyes, surprised that I had closed them, and was greeted by a soft pair of eyes, still heavy with sleep, watching me with a curious glint to them. The nervousness that had marred them just a few nights ago now long gone, just a warmth as fingers entwined themselves with mine. No words, I couldn't have uttered them even if I could think of any. Just a smile. This was what I wanted, she was what I wanted, and for another day at the very least, I had her.

I didn't see the smile that crossed her lips, just the warmth that fluttered through her eyes as she pressed herself against me with a soft kiss that intensified as neither of us was quite ready to break it.

Always the voice of reason, somehow managing to echo the voice in my head that I was better at ignoring than she was, she pulled herself back long enough to whisper, "We should get ready for work." I smiled at this, her tone reminding me of the numerous times she'd uttered, always in vain, protestations as I dragged her into my office, locking the door behind her.

She stayed in my arms a moment longer, then mustered enough self control to disentangle herself from me. She took the sheet with her, uncomfortable with her nakedness, although clearly enjoying mine. I smiled, as much at the desire present in her eyes as at the nervousness she was displaying. Letting my head fall back onto the pillow, I watched her nervousness melt away as her gentle weight melted on top of me.

"What about work?" I managed to whisper between frantic kisses surging with an urgency that neither of us quite understood. I didn't get an answer, at least not in words, her soft fingers danced across my chest as she pulled slightly on my lower lip, allowing her tongue access to my mouth.

The last thought I had before my mind lost its coherency was that I was going to be late for work, again.


End file.
